Saturday, March 21, 2009

The cancer's gone . . . how much longer until I start feeling like myself again?!?


This photo of my friend Marcy and I was taken at my most recent sitting with a professional photographer. I had the idea to document how cancer would change my body through a series of black & white photos, and then put together my "cancer portfolio".

My friends are awesome, the photographer is awesome (she's even doing these sittings for me at no charge!), so why the f@%k can't I muster up a smile? How much longer until I start feeling like myself again? My reconstructive surgery is just a few weeks away, my hair is growing back (eyebrows are lagging behind a bit), and there's no more cancer in my body . . . WTF is wrong with me?! I don't think that I'll begin to feel like my old self again until I have my long hair back and I feel like a woman again. It was bad enough being called "sir" in the grocery store when I was going through chemo and had no hair under my caps, but now I get mistaken for a lesbian. News flash . . . not every female with short hair is a lesbian!!

Maybe I should shave my head again . . . . on second thought, not a chance!!

1 comment:

khala-jan said...

Good luck with surgery...you will do great. I noticed you and I finished Radiation on the same date. I hated Radiation, worse experience out of all this mess. if you need me, I am here. We even picked the same blog background (must tell you something about personality). I also go the "sir" or funny looks with my short hair...I cannot wait for my long hair to come back!